Stoke City LIVE! Q&A on transfers, training and a desert island season

Joe Allen: Who is Parched?

Thanks Joe… if that is your real name.

We’d better quickly explain to those who don’t listen to Peter Crouch’s podcast. This is from Crouch, about his mystery teammate.

There’s one player that will remain nameless – I’m not saying the club, when I say remain nameless they always try to get it out me – we decided to call him Parched.

When we were doing pre-season training it was intense, really intense, and after you’ve done your running or training everyone would go over for a drink, knackered, and drink loads of water. It was roasting hot, you’d done a load of work.

We’d look over and Parched would be sitting with the coaching staff. He’s not had a drink. Every drinks break we’ve had he’d be around the manager, chatting to him about tactics or just getting him on side.

So the nickname Parched really suited him. Everyone knows it. I think Parched knows who Parched is. You could trust him. He was a great lad, a top man and the only real reason he got away with it was because he was a good lad and everyone liked him.

Crouch has confirmed it’s not Joe Allen, it’s not Glenn Whelan nor Steve Sidwell, Jermaine Jenas nor James Milner.

I think it’s a Stoke player – and there’s one who is talking to the manager on every photograph we have of him in training.

I don’t think it’s Charlie Adam or Ryan Shawcross or Jon Walters or Matty Etherington.

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