Who is Parched? That has been the question on the lips of listeners to That Peter Crouch Podcast for some time now.
The former Stoke City striker revealed earlier this year that one of his former team-mates was nicknamed Parched on account of his habit of using drink breaks during training to get in the manager’s ear.
“There’s one player that will remain nameless – I’m not saying the club, when I say remain nameless they always try to get it out me – we decided to call him Parched.
“When we were doing pre-season training it was intense, really intense, and after you’ve done your running or training everyone would go over for a drink, knackered, and drink loads of water. It was roasting hot, you’d done a load of work.
“We’d look over and Parched would be sitting with the coaching staff. He’s not had a drink. Every drinks break we’ve had he’d be around the manager, chatting to him about tactics or just getting him on side.
“So the nickname Parched really suited him. Everyone knows it. I think Parched knows who Parched is. You could trust him. He was a great lad, a top man and the only real reason he got away with it was because he was a good lad and everyone liked him.”
This prompted listeners to start guessing the identity of Parched – but so far, it has remained a mystery.
Crouch has previously ruled out a few candidates – including Stoke trio Joe Allen, Steve Sidwell and Glenn Whelan.
And he has confirmed that it is not Liverpool’s James Milner or former Tottenham man Jermaine Jenas.
In his latest podcast, Crouch rules out another contender – Fulham manager Scott Parker, who he played alongside at Spurs.
And the 39-year-old revealed that Parched himself only just found out he was the owner of the nickname!
“I spoke to Parched recently – he called me,” said Crouch. “Do you know he didn’t actually know he was Parched?!
“I just assumed that he knew but obviously not. Anyway, I’ve come clean and told him everything.
“He just asked me what is this Parched stuff that everyone keeps asking me about.
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“I said: ‘Well, I’ve got some good and bad news… You’re Parched! I don’t know if there’s any good news in it!
“Anyway, he took it great.”
Crouch added: “I was chatting to him and I said: ‘I want to do a big reveal – are you up for it?’ And he said: ‘Yeah’.”
Is it one of his old Stoke colleagues? Perhaps we will soon find out. What this space.