With hairdressers packing away their scissors and shavers, the population is soon going to have a problem with big hair.
So we’ve been dipping into the Stoke City archives to come up with a few ideas for all you amateur stylists out there.
If yours grows up rather than down, and you want to let it go big time, then the `George Berry‘ is for you.
Big George, who has rather less hair these days sadly, very nearly faced an FA charge for sporting an unfair advantage with his famous afro back in the 70s and 80s.
Even Malcolm MacDonald was reduced to complaining to the referee one day after losing every header in a game at Molineux.
George had toned his hair down a bit by the time he arrived at Stoke, but he was still known to tickle a few team-mates in the showers when they weren’t looking.
If you want to go for the wild look, complete with headband, then we have a modern-day role model in midfielder Joe Allen.
His bohemian look inspired a feral quality about his football and, like Samson perhaps, it maybe no coincidence that he lost some strength and suffered that sad achilles tendon injury just a few days after a severe haircut.
Retro lovers might want to take a peek at the `Mike Pejic’ for that 70’s look which combined style and vigour, so he tells us, and serves him well to this day.
The mis-shaped nose and other facial war wounds are optional, but not advisable.
But if you want the retro look that’s also a hit with the ladies, and you know where the missus keeps some self-applied highlights stashed away to conceal those grey hairs, then how about going for the `Alan Biley?’
Better remembered for spells at the likes of Derby and Portsmouth, he also had a short loan stint at Stoke in the early 80s when he was frequently confused with something out of Duran Duran.
Be warned, though, because the `Biley’ look should be accompanied by a generous hand mirror and an ego the size of Piers Morgan’s.
If none of these suggestions take your fancy, then simply grab your best electric razor and do the Danny Higginbotham.
It’s cheap (and sometimes nasty), but you do need the face to match.
A skinhead isn’t much use if your boat race is more Danny DeVito than Danny Higginbotham.
Then again, who the hell is going to see you right now?
* Next week: Terry Conroy on how to handle your sideburns